Action II

Last chapter talked about writing simple action sentences. Knowing this, how do we string together a long list of actions for a full sequence? Without it becoming overwhelming or monotone?

For these rules, I am mostly inspired by action sequences from Jackie Chan and Steven Spielberg movies. I think those two are popular examples of the best ways to do such sequences.

The general rule, as always, is to structure the sequence as a mini-story. An interesting setup, progress (in which the tempo and tension keeps rising), and finally a payoff. For example, you don’t want to start an action sequence with guns blazing. Maybe the first blows are hand-to-hand combat. Maybe the first shot is a warning shot. It takes time, as the action sequence progresses, to increase the conflict and make the fighting more dangerous.

I don’t remember the source, but I learned this formula some time ago as a good shorthand.

EXCITEMENT = (ACTION + STAKES + CONFLICT) x CONCERN

But let’s get more specific than that. (As you read the rules below, you’ll see how they each raise one of these elements.)

Readers have to care

This is the number one rule.

CONCERN: Readers must care about the characters doing the action.

Only then do they care about the outcome (who wins or loses), which means they care about the action. Nothing else matters if the audience does not care.

As always, you can learn about writing compelling characters in my Character course.

Even better if you can make it unfair. Our hero—whom we care about—is losing. It’s one against many: one hero against an overwhelming amount of resistance. Even better if you use the previous chapters to setup a bigger disadvantage. Maybe the hero just lost their magical powers, or they’re extremely tired from some earlier event.

This increases the tension and the stakes. It also just makes sense. If the hero was already winning … then what are we doing? Writing a long sequence to show a completely expected victory? A long sequence in which the hero does not make major stupid mistakes and wins, as they were already doing?

To make an action sequence easy to follow, I usually recommend sticking with one perspective for a longer period of time. (Some stories cut away between different storylines very rapidly, and it just gives me whiplash.)

This doesn’t mean you can’t have multiple perspectives or storylines running through the same action sequence. In fact, I recommend that! Whenever possible, I try to setup action sequences so multiple storylines converge. For example, one character is in the midst of the action, the other tries to flee, and the other is captured by the enemy.

This is the ultimate way to add variety to the action. By showing it from many different angles, as it unfolds. And, if you did it right, readers care about every angle.

Ensure a good reason

Many action sequences give no clear reason. Only something like “I’m mad at you, so let’s fight”

STAKES/CONFLICT: Give the audience a clear reason for every action sequence, and make sure they understand it well enough to care

Additionally, most action sequences threaten death. But we all know the main character of our story will not die halfway through! Or they threaten the end of the world. But we all know the world will not end!

As such, the true tension must come from something else. There must be another consequence to losing the action. Something so valuable the hero doesn’t want to lose it, and thus has a good reason for fighting.

An action sequence needs a clear goal, a clear desired outcome. And it needs to be something that truly makes the audience wonder if they’ll win or lose.

You can test this by asking: “What if I remove this entire sequence? Does that change anything? Can I replace it with just a few sentences and it’s equally fine?” If the sequence barely changes anything, reconsider its purpose.

Ensure an interesting setting

The heading says it all.

ACTION: Do whatever is necessary, perhaps in earlier chapters, to make the action happen in a fun and interesting location.

A generic field of grass isn’t fun. Nor is a generic warehouse. Nor is an empty sky. Make people …

• Fight in a dense forest. Hard to move, amply opportunity for hiding.
• Fight in a school. As the enemy approaches, turning corner after corner, the others try to get the children to safety first.
• Fight in a shop. All the items they sell suddenly become a weapon or a shield.

The extra rule is, of course, that you actually use all the opportunities your setting provides. It’s not much better to place a fight in an exotic rainforest … and then just let your characters stand still (rooted to the spot) and swing fists.

Let them hide, swing, climb, fly, grab objects, throw objects. If they’ve been sword fighting for a few paragraphs, achieving nothing, make sure somebody tries something else. Or write a (random) event that suddenly causes both to lose their sword.

In a sense, the rule is: “A few bullets? Great. More bullets? Lose the gun.”

Fighting isn’t “fun”

Fighting hurts. People only fight if they really have to. Otherwise, they flee, try to end it, or surrender.

Characters fighting without a good reason, or with clear opportunities to walk away, is unrealistic and stupid.

So, while fighting, let characters search for (other) ways to end the fight.

Let characters feel pain. Let them doubt if fighting should continue. Add permanent consequences because of this. For example, somebody is hit in the shoulder and can’t use their right arm anymore, which means they now have to fight with their bad arm.

Many people have this idea that historic battles where fought on open fields, where everyone just kept fighting (in the same place) until the other party was dead. This is completely false.

• Many battles were stretched out. Soldiers moved as the battle progressed. One side fled, and the other followed.
• If one side was certain they were going to lose, they’d pull out, or surrender. No sense in continuing to fight just to see thousands of soldiers die for no good reason.

Add recognizable highlights

Spread significant, memorable moments evenly throughout the action sequence.

They provide anchors for the audience. Something to latch onto in the chaos of the fight.

They should be memorable highlights. Moments in which the action shifts or changes dramatically.

Perhaps a third party enters. Perhaps a character was looking for a magical weapon and they finally found it (halfway the battle). Maybe an important general gives up and tries to flee.

A very common trick is to make one object / person the most important and to follow it throughout the action sequence.

This is true for plot and character, but also setting. The reader should have a clear mental picture of where everything happens. To achieve this, the setting needs memorable locations!

Perhaps there’s a big, glowing pillar in the center. Perhaps there’s a beautiful tree with bright colors in the left corner. Perhaps the battle happens on an island, with clear boundaries as to how far the fighting can go.

Only explain the plan if it fails

In many stories, the action sequence isn’t unexpected. It’s designed, planned beforehand, talked about beforehand. (Such as people planning to rob a bank or an army preparing for a big battle.)

Only talk about the plan if it fails

If everything goes according to plan … then what’s the point of explaining the plan (to the reader) beforehand? You’ve just explained the exact same sequence of events twice!

No, only explain the plan beforehand if it fails, or parts of it fail. With practice, you will find a good balance. Because it is satisfying to tell the reader how the hero will approach an action sequence, and to see them pull it off. As long as it happens in small doses.

The resolution comes from a trick

For years, I felt this was cheating. Then, I was undecided. Now I am certain about this rule.

The most boring resolution to a fight, is if one side wins just because they can hit harder or shoot guns better than the other. We like stories because they have meaning and purpose. They show characters overcoming weaknesses and changing. So, resolving conflict completely physically is the most boring way possible.

So yes, I feel most action sequences need to be resolved by the winning side being smarter. They figured out a trick, they did something smart, they used their setting and their tools better. And so they won.

Of course, not any trick will do. A trick that comes out of nowhere or is unnecessarily convoluted won’t be satisfying.

• The trick should have been set up and foreshadowed throughout the story. The audience should be able to guess or predict this trick, if they paid attention and are engaged.
• It’s fine if the trick causes one side to hit harder or shoot better than the other side.

All other writing rules still stand

Use all the senses. Vary between action and description, between dialogue and introspection. Use shorter sentences if you want to increase tempo or intensity.

Keep showing who your characters are through their actions. Ensure that not everybody is the same after the action sequences as they were before it: there has been progression.

Edit out anything unnecessary, or anything that destroys pacing. Halfway a tense fight, you don’t want to add three paragraphs about how beautiful the landscape is.

Watch for repeated action. Try to vary how you describe motion, attacks, deflections, etcetera.

Conclusion

Pfew, a pretty long chapter.

That’s because action sequences are such an important part of (modern, popular) stories, but very hard to execute correctly. It took me a long time to notice these patterns and create these simple rules.

I think the biggest takeaway is that action does not stand on its own. Action is part of the larger story. As such, the action works best if readers care about the characters, and you’ve set it up properly. (So that it happens in a nice setting, has a trick you can execute, has real stakes and a clear reason, etcetera.) Do not look at action sequences on their own.

If you remember the formula at the start, the biggest takeaway is the fact that CONCERN is multiplied. You can have all the other pieces, beautifully executed, and it won’t matter if the audience does not care. I really hope Hollywood blockbuster filmmakers learn this lesson some day soon ;)