Why we tell stories

As a general principle, I always start with why?. In most cases, that is the most interesting question and the one that will teach you the most. (There are even books and TED talks about it!)

So … why do we tell stories?

Why is there such a huge industry around people making up drama, conflict and problems? Why do companies pour millions into a few hours of fictional events? Why do so many people, when asked what they really want to do, answer that they’d like to “write a novel, I guess, I have all these stories in my head that need to come out”?

Why humans tell stories

There’s no certainty about this, of course. But several proposed theories are generally accepted as true.

• Progress: we tell stories to grow. To give information and to progress. Our brains learn and memorize through association. Just giving information … with no context or story … will not stick in our heads. So we started telling stories to share information and educate. Moreover, our brains love progression and growth, which is why we love getting new bits of information as the story goes on, or seeing a character grow.
• Meaning: we tell stories to create a moral baseline for the group. We are highly social creatures, living in tribes since long ago. It is crucial, then, to make sure that all noses are pointed in the same direction. Sharing and discussing moral lessons within the tribe, makes it less likely that people will act against the interests of the group or become a problem.
• Fun: we tell stories simply to entertain. Stories are just a framework for entertainment, like games. We don’t play a boardgame because we really care about some cards with numbers on them or some wooden chips. The game is a framework that allows us to have fun. It provides opportunities for jokes, for talking, for meeting up with people. Stories are the same thing. By inventing a hero, a world, a conflict, we create a situation that allows us to provide jokes or interesting puzzles to readers.

It is my view, therefore, that a good story needs all these elements. If you leave one out, it becomes very hard to do the other ones.

• A story that only has jokes … will be less entertaining than a good story that naturally leads to a handful of really good jokes.
• A story that only has action isn’t entertaining, because you haven’t given (emotional) weight to the action—a reason to care about the action.
• A story that only has a message or teaching, likely isn’t entertaining, which means nobody will actually read the story.

You need the progression, you need the meaning or moral, and you need the framework for entertainment.

Let’s call this a theory and give it a nice fantastical name: the Elements of Storywhy.

All the other “rules” people have invented about stories, are merely tools to help you with this. For example, some people advocate a strict structure for stories, divided into 20 “beats” (or some different number). If you execute these, like ticking things off a to-do list, you will have a great story.

I’m not for or against something like this. You should know these are merely tools to help you add the right elements to make a story tick. For some they’ll work, for others they won’t. As you gain experience, you learn when you can “break the rules”.

As long as these Elements of Storywhy are in your story, nobody cares how they arrived there. They’ll just see a good story that resonates.

Why do you tell stories?

Now ask yourself: why do I like to tell stories? Why do I like watching my favorite series or reading my favorite book?

My answer

For me, I’ve learned that I like puzzles and I like just thinking about themes. As such, my books will usually have a difficult question at the center, and through the story I play out different perspectives on the question, or characters trying different solutions. To “hook” the reader, I usually wrap that in one or two mysteries.

That’s why I tell stories. I discovered this by simply writing a lot, both books and content for websites (like this one). I think about problems by writing about them. So, for me, stories are just a deliberation of certain themes or topics that I deem important.

Knowing this, I often disregard writing advice that doesn’t align with it. Not because it’s necessarily bad advice, but because it would remove my motivation for writing a story, and you really do not want that. Why write a story if I don’t actually stand behind it?

Find your answer

Now ask yourself, more specifically,

• What do I seek in a story?
• What do I hate in a story?
• And what is my audience?

This can change over time, or per story. But it’s important to think about this.

If you don’t know why you tell a story, how do you know when it’s finished? How do you know where to go or how to tell it? When presented with the millions of options to choose from each scene, how do you know which one to pick?

A clear idea of your preferences helps make (the right) decisions during the whole writing process.

• If you mostly love stories with a good mystery, give preference to writing a mystery in every scene. (When in doubt, go for the idea that makes the mystery more interesting.)
• If you hate love triangles in stories, never write scenes that will lead to that! (When in doubt, eliminate any options that might lead to this.)
• If your audience is kids, you’ll know certain themes or vocabulary that are off-limits. You’ll also know themes and ideas that are very much appreciated, because they are important in the lives of kids. (Such as school, making new friends, relationship between child and parent, etcetera.)

As such, before starting any story, write this down!

This is a story for audience A. I want it to do B, and it certainly shouldn’t do C. I am writing this story because of D.

Example: The Saga of Life

I maintain a collection of short stories (added to each year) called The Saga of Life. The stories are standalone, but when combined tell a bigger story. The stories are about how life on earth came into existence, so they’re often rooted in history and biology.

When I started it, many moons ago, the stories were all over the place. Some were very fantastical and otherworldly, others were very grounded. Some were more like fairytales or myths, while others read like a contemporary YA novel.

When I left university, and could finally pursue my creative ambitions, I picked up the project again. And I asked myself those questions. Why am I writing this? What’s the goal here?

This is a story for all ages, though it leans towards kids. I want it to explain important ideas from history and nature in a fun way. It certainly shouldn’t feel like a textbook or like you’re being educated; a good story always comes first. I am writing this because the short stories make it very accessible (especially in the age of lowering attention spans), easier to write for me, and I generally care a lot about nature and teaching people its wondrous ways.

Once I had that, writing the stories became much easier. Making decisions became much easier.

When given a choice between being 100% correct with the science, or writing a better story … I pick the better story. No more thinking needed.

When given a choice between a cruel story that might not be for kids, and a softer variant of the idea … I pick the one more suitable to all ages.

When I feel down, unmotivated, uncertain, I remind myself about why I write these stories.

Conclusion

When telling a story, never forget the reasons why we actually tell stories.

• To grow, to give information, to progress or see progression
• To give a moral lesson or deeper meaning
• To entertain, with jokes, tension and release, or interesting puzzles

You can forget eeeeeeverything else. But never the core reasons why humans actually like stories.

You might think this is too narrow. What about empathy for the characters? What about cliff-hangers, mysteries, good dialogue, everything else? But those are not reasons why we tell stories. They are tools to use while creating the stories. They are how we tell a story. As such, they are of secondary importance.

Start with why? Ask it of yourself, and ask it of each project you start. Once you have some clear rules for yourself, you can make decisions much faster, and can get back motivation when it’s a precious commodity.